How to remain focused and effective when life has other plans for you

Another busy week beckoned, and the reality of being over-optimistic in scheduling my time meant that I was overstretched and at risk of not delivering everything I’d planned in this week. Note to self: must build in contingency and be more realistic in scheduling work.

Having given myself a good talking to, I set about reviewing what was achievable and re-jigging some things around to give myself the best chance to get through this week successfully. Phew. Now I can get on with getting things done - it’ll be tight, but if I approach things with the right mindset, I will be fine, right?

Well, yes, in principle, however life has a funny way of surprising you and making you rethink things. My surprise was not a pleasant one. A close family member became very seriously ill and my husband decided to visit them in hospital which is over two hours away. Although he didn’t explicitly ask, I got the feeling that he wanted me to go with him.

But if I take a day out of an already packed week, I’m toast... but it’s family, that’s what matters, come on Carolyn... but if I don’t get that work finished this week, the programme won’t happen next week... I’ll let people down, they’ll think I’m useless, the client will complain and I’ll probably be sacked. You know the kind of negative thinking that spirals downward and out of control if you don’t catch it?

Thankfully I caught it and went back to basics. What matters most right now? Family. What else? Supporting my husband. What else? Being true to myself and standing up for what I believe in. How can I talk about my purpose being to inspire a new generation of leaders who are compassionate, caring and conscious and then disregard that for myself? I can’t. I won’t.

Let’s get practical, what do I need to do now? Be upfront with people, tell them what’s going on and why it’s important, and ask for help.

A few calls and emails later, I’d got help, arranged for someone to pick up the urgent stuff and assured the client that everything would be taken care of. When you give people to opportunity to help, they very often jump at it, particularly when you are open and being true to what you value.

I felt a strange sense of relief having made the decision and taken action. The negative, threatening, downward spiral thoughts lost their power and were replaced with a sense of calm and focus on what matters.

The four hours my husband and I spent together in the car the next day gave us an opportunity to reconnect; we talked more than we’d done in a while and I felt closer to him than ever.

Then as I sat holding the hand of my elderly relative for two solid hours, it felt like nothing else mattered, simply letting my compassion, love and caring flow from me to him. We laughed, shared stories of the past and connected like never before as he squeezed my hand tightly just before we said our goodbyes. Though I didn’t know it at the time, that was the last time I saw my elderly relative. I am so grateful that we had that time together.

Returning to work the next day, I was able to get twice as much done as I’d previously thought I could. I was much more productive, focused, had a fresh perspective and felt totally in line with who I was at my best and completely aligned with what matters to me.

On reflection, I feel sure that had I listened to the negative thoughts and not taken the day off, I would have been so off kilter that I would have been completely distracted, unproductive and feeling like a fraud.

What would you have done? Do you know what is your true North?

Knowing what you value, what you stand for and your reason for being is your compass.

So when life throws the unexpected, you can be sure you are doing the right thing for you and what matters to you. As Ghandi said, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world’.

It really does start with you, so if you don’t yet know who you are at your best, what you value and your raison d’etre, or if you want to gain perspective, and be more effective in work, then contact us to find out how we can help.